Episode 265. Ford Ranger. X351 TNW. (Part 1).

 Well I guess thats it for the Navara, not that it's broken down again or anything like that, infact the damn thing seems to be in fine form. But as for Mrs Clint taking it up as her own truck, erm, nope. The reason for this is that my friend, Paul was selling his Ranger, and upon foolishly showing it to her Worshipfulness she just said, "I'll have that!"

So that's that then. Although I am struggling with the logic of this decision, I mean to be fair, erm, to myself I do struggle with the logic of my wife, or infact pretty much any woman, but how her worshipfulness thinks really boggles my mind. (Incase you're wondering Girlfriends thought process is no better, infact it's probably worse if anything!) Anyhoo, Mrs Clint said that the way forward for her new vehicle was this, she wanted a 4x4, a pick up if possible, and it would be best if it were black. Damn, that's a hard combination to find in one vehicle, if only I knew where I could lay my hands on a black four wheel drive pick up.

So we jumped into the Navara, and headed off to my friends to look at the Ranger. As I pulled my black four wheel drive Nissan Navara pick up up next to my friends Ranger she looked out the window at it and just said "Yep, that's the one for me." So without even testing it I gave Paul the money, and bought my 99th car. I knew it would be alright, when you've got good friends you can trust you know they won't let you down. After a bit of a chat it was time to head back to BelongaClint, me in my Black 4x4 Navara pick up, and her Worshipfulness in her new white two wheel drive Ranger pick up, still I guess one out of three ain't bad. As she got into her new ride she called me over and said that she was hungry, and I could buy her some lunch. I said that I'd just bought her a pick up, how about she buy me lunch? But that fell on deaf ears, and she replied, "And I want to go some place fancy, I want to eat like royalty." I knew what she was angling for. Theres a lovely little resturaunt near where we were that we go to from time to time that she loves even though its forty odd miles from home. It's a little expensive, but like I said it is nice, and she loves it. So I said, Oh, OK. I know just the place, follow me. We headed off and she followed close behind. Before long we were sitting there with our meals in front of us...

As I sat down opposite her with our meals she just looked at me and said, "What the heck is this? I wanted to eat like royalty!" I said that were were eating like royalty, this place even has 'King' in the name, what could be more royal that that? "This isn't what I meant and you know it!" She snapped. It was then I noticed something that I knew would probably push her over the edge, but I also knew that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing. Behind her, over on the counter there was a stack of cardboard crowns. I said to her, hold on, I can make this better (Knowing full well I'd probably make things worse!) I got up, went over to the counter and picked up a crown and put it on. I then picked up another one and headed back to my table. I looked at her, and she looked pretty damn mad at me, so I held out my hand with the crown in it for her. "What are you doing?" she snapped. I said put this on, then we'll really be eating like royalty. "I'm not putting it on, you look like an idiot!, Take it off!" she said. I said you can't tell me what to do, I'm the King, I tell you what to do! I could tell she was on the edge of something, probably my murder, but I didn't take my crown off. She snapped at me, "Are you taking that stupid thing off, or do I need to sit somewhere else?" I said, Look Princess... "PRINCESS!!" she barked at me as she stood up, and walked across the resturaunt and sat at another table. I looked at her from across the room as I ate my burger and fries while still wearing my crown. The guy at the next table looked at me and raised his eyebrows. I said to him that the Queen was feeling a bit touchy today, and not really feeling my company too much, he said it was pretty much the same in his palace too, then we both chuckled.

As I watched her highness finish her meal fit for a King she came over to my table and said, "Are you gonna take that rediculous thing off?" I said, but I'm the King, are you going to put yours on? "I'm going home." She said, and headed off to the carpark. The guy sat next to me wished me good luck as I got up to follow her. Out in the carpark, and with my crown still on I said to her worshipfullness to follow me, and we headed for home.

I'll be honest, driving forty miles home in the Navara was pretty tricky with a cardboard crown on my head, the pointy bits kept touching the roof lining as I drove, and I found that I had to sort of slouch in my seat! But I did it. As we got nearer to home she decided to pass me, as she did so she was glaring at me, and so I just gave her a royal wave as she went by. By the time we got home her mood hadn't really got any better, but as I pulled up behind her I jumped out of my Navara, and opened the door for her to get out, bowing as I did so and again offering her another cardboard crown as I asked how the royal Ranger drives your highness. Apparently it was time to remove the crown, and I'm a knob. I said a royal knob if you don't mind, and the crown's going nowhere. I followed as she headed off inside. Fortunately I'm not one of those fellas who takes a joke too far, but I did manage to wear the crown for the whole of the rest of that day, I even wore it to bed much to her disgust. (Incase you are wondering, despite me buying her a new car that day there was no relationship type stuff that night!)

The following morning when I awoke (I'll be honest, I'm as surprised as you are) I looked for my crown but it had gone. I went into the dining room where Mrs Clint was already busy working away and asked her if she's seen my crown this morning as I couldn't find it anywhere. She told me that she had seen it, and had used it to light the fire this morning! Hmm, so I guess I'm not the King anymore, but then I thought that I still had the one that I got for her, as I walked to my desk to get it she just said, "And that one's burnt too!" Dammit, scuppered by my own Queen!

Now dethroned I sat down next to her and asked her what the Ranger was like. She said it was  quite good, drives OK, and she does like it, and is happy to drive it, but, there are some rules...

I am still allowed to:-

Pay for the Ranger.
Tax the Ranger.
Insure the Ranger.
Maintain the Ranger.

But I am certainly not allowed to:-

Sell the Ranger.
Drive the Ranger.
Modify the Ranger. 

And under no circumstances am I allowed to sell the Ranger to Girlfriend! EVER!! Well, I guess that seems fair, although at some point it may well find itself on a better set of wheels should I stumble across a nice set, but apart from that I plan to pretty much leave it alone... Maybe! I do however plan to drive it a bit, I've always quite liked the Ranger, and even had a newer Ranger once, so I'd quite like to see what it's like to drive. With my 99th car, or vehicle bought I'd like to think that my 100th car might be a little bit more special than another old truck, but time will tell. Updates as they occur...

By the way, I've been out this morning and got another Crown and left it on her seat so she sees it in the morning when she heads off to work. I won't be there so I should be alright. Might not eat my tea tomorrow night though. :D