Mrs Clints Focus... I must admit that I do like this car. I don't know what it is really, it's pretty much the same recipe as the Golf cabriolet that I had, take the family hatchback, chop off the roof, and voila, cool little car for a bit of open top motoring. However, the Golf was a car that I found to be particularly bland, probably mainly because it was just a family type hatchback with the roof chopped off. But for some reason however, on the Focus it seems to be transformed from a fairly dull family hatchback, into a fun little open topped car.
I have wondered why I like this so much? Is it the nice coupé looks that
I look at while it's parked outside BelongaClint? Is it the comfortable
interior, and the ride that you get while you're driving it? Is it
because it's a bit spritely, and drives like a scaled up StreetKa? Or
could it be that it's the forbidden fruit, and I'm not really supposed
to be driving it under any circumstances. (Unless her worshipfulness
needs to be driven home because she's had some wine gums!) To be honest,
I think it's a combination of these things, but making it the forbidden
fruit really does add to it's allure for me. But whatever it is, I do
like this thing a lot. Mrs Clint often moans at me because in the past I
may have sold one or two of her cars either without her permission, or,
in the case of the Honda CR-v which she told me to sell, so with her
permission, but apparently before she was ready! I know, I couldn't figure it out
either, but I think that where the Focus is concerned she really has no need to worry,
because I like it so much, I can't see me selling this thing any time
Anyway, despite not being allowed to drive the Focus, the other day, with my two little Monsters at home because of the Summer holidays I had some errands to run, including collecting a set of alloy wheels that I had purchased through farcebook. I came outside with my Navara keys in one hand, and my youngest Monster beside me when I noticed that the Focus was still parked outside. I asked my youngest Monster where was Mummy, and had she gone to work? She told me that she had walked into work as it was someones birthday, and they were going to the pub at lunchtime. I looked at my little Monster and said that this changes everything, lets get the keys to the Focus, and as it's a sunny day have a bit of open top motoring across the Forest of Newness! You mean the New Forest she said, and followed it up by reminding me that the Focus is out of bounds for me. I told her that I knew that, but we'd be back before Mummy was home from work, and headed inside to get the keys. I checked the key rack and guess what, that little minx had headed off to work and taken the damn keys! I'm not sure what this says about the trust issues in our relationship? My littlest Monster said, does this mean we take the Navara? It would be better for collecting wheels in. I told her that it would be better for collecting wheels in, but the top doesn't come off, and as it's sunny, we're still taking the Focus. But what about the key? She asked. Well, I said, I'm just going to use the secret spare key. I headed over to the bookcase, and took down a very battered looking Oxford dictionary which I had removed all the pages from, opened it up, and removed the key from the key from the box inside. My littlest Monster looked amazed, that's pretty cool she said, you've glued the cover to a box so it just looks like any other book on the shelf. Does Mummy know? I said, if Mummy knew, do you think I'd have a spare car key to her car in here? Probably not. No she said, probably not. Can you help me make a box like this to keep stuff from my Sister? I agreed to help out as long as she keeps both the 'books' a secret. With the agreement done we headed out to the Focus, dropped the roof down, and got ready to head out for a drive in the sun. Where are you going to put the wheels my little Monster said. I said I thought I'd just pop them on the back seat? So, she said, you're driving Mums car, and you're going to put dirty old wheels on the back seat? She had a point. I headed back in to get some sort of dust sheet. What I returned with was the Duvet cover from our bed. My littlest Monster looked at this and instantly recongnised it as our duvet cover and said, tell me you're not going to use this to protect the back seat from the dirt on the wheels? I told her that I was, and if we get a wriggle on we'll collect all the stuff I've got to pick up, get back home, unload it all, and have the duvet cover washed before Mummy gets home. She wasn't conviced, and asked me who she should live with after the divorce? I told her it depended upon if she wanted to live in the house of rules, or the house of irresponsibility? She's still giving it some thought.
As I pulled out onto the street I glanced at the fuel gauge... Empty... Infact, beyond empty, I've really no idea how she gets it so low, and despite the petrol station being less that 200 yards from BelongaClint I really did wonder if we'd get there, but we made it. As I was putting petrol in it anyway I thought I'd better check the petrol can I leave in Mrs Clints car so that when she runs out, she doesn't need to call me out to her with a can to get her going again... Hmm, I see I've already missed atleast one call out as the can too was empty! So as I was fuelling the car up I figured that I'd fill the can too, it'll save me time in the long run! So, with petrol in the tank (and the can) we were finally off!
With the roof down, and the Sun bouncing off my bald head the drive across the New Forest was lovely. There really is something that I quite enjoy about driving with the roof down, and to be honest I can't wait until I have my scruffy little sCRAP nugget of a StreetKa on the road so that I don't have to sneak out in the Focus Cc to get my convertible fix. But before long we were pulling up outside the sellers house to look at the set of wheels he was selling.
I've been half heartedly looking for a set of 40th anniversary Wolfrace slotmags for the sCRAP nugget, but I'm not having any luck finding any that are either close, or cheap. However, what I did find was a set that might fit the Celeste, and so, after giving them a look over, I handed over a small amount of the folding stuff, and carried them back to the Focus. I draped our duvet cover over the back seat, and got ready to put them in. Are you really going to get the duvet cover all dirty, my littlest Monster asked. I said that I didn't think they looked too bad, but if they were a little bit dirty it would be preferable to make the duvet cover grubby rather than getting the back seat dirty. The duvet cover can be washed, but getting the back seat of a Ford Focus in a washing machine was going to be a struggle! She said, are you sure they won't fit in the boot? I told her that I doubted it, especially as the roof was in there. She suggested that to save her from having a Mother in jail and a Father in the cold cold ground it might be worth atleast trying it. I thought about it, and as I felt I was probably already pushing my luck I agreed to give it a go, and so, I put the roof back up. You know what?..
With the roof up you can get four 14" wheels complete with tyres in the boot of a Focus Cc! I closed the boot and headed for home!
This was when we hit a bit of a snag. With the roof up, and the car in coupé mode the drive through the New Forest was almost as nice as the drive there, still atleast now I wasn't getting a sunburned head. But when we got to the motorway it was traffic mania! We could've almost walked home faster as the world as their wives were all obviously off out somewhere. This was not good if we were going to beat Mrs Clint home from work. As we crawled along the motorway I nervously watched the clock getting closer and closer to the time that Mrs Clint usually ends work. But despite this we just about beat her worshipfulness home. My littlest Monster went in first, and called for her Mum, there was no reply, so I hurried in with the duvet cover, and flung it straight into the washing machine, and turned the thing on. There was no way it would be done and dry before she got home, but it atleast it would look like I'd been doing a bit of washing. I headed back out to get the wheels in, but as I did so Mrs Clint came around the corner at the end of the street. I gave her a wave, and walked down the street to meet her. Where are you going? She asked. I said nowhere, I was just going to see if you were on your way home yet. Oh, she said, well, I was thinking we should go out for dinner tonight, we'll take my car but you'll have to drive it, is that OK? I said I would if I had to, but I didn't really want the roof down as my heads a bit sunburned. She agreed, and so we al jumped into the Focus and headed out for the evening! It was a pretty nice evening, we had fish and chips on the beach and Mrs Clint even paid, she even bought petrol on the way home for her car, which, going on the amount of petrol thats in it every time I take it out is something she never does! However, two days after collecting the wheels in her car they are still in the boot. I've just not had a chance to take them out yet while she's not around. I can see that I'd better do it tonight, the last thing I need is for her worshipfulness to drive to work in the morning, then go to Tesco on the way home only to discover that she can't get the shopping in the boot because mysteriously it's full of wheels that she knows nothing about. I'm not really sure how I'd go about explaining that.