Episode 109. Ford Focus CC. EY07 HSG. (Part 1).

Presenting Mrs Clint's new wheels!! Now, I realise that this doesn't meet the brief laid down by Mrs Clint, however, the other day we were talking, and the subject of selling her CR-V to my not girlfriend came up. This was followed by her worshipfulness saying that this is not the first time I had sold a car I had to my not girlfriend, apparently, she really liked the yellow Street Ka to, which in her eyes should've been hers, and certainly not sold to my not girlfriend! I took all this on board in a manly way, and that is to say that it went in one ear, and out the other! Then the other day while I was inquiring about a Vauxhall Frontera sport I'd found on the internet, she said that she's found something she liked. I said, ok, well, what is it? She turned her tablet around so I could see the photo, and it was a bright yellow Renault mk1 Mégane convertible! I was quite surprised by this as it was nothing at all like the brief she had given me, being that is was not a 4x4, and although not silver, it was a leary color, but not only that, it is probably her least favourite colour, yellow... The same colour as the Street Ka which I sold thinking that she wouldn't want it anyway as it was yellow, oh, and because she'd never shown any interest in it! Anyway, I inquired about the Mégane convertible only to be told that it had been sold! No matter, I thought, I'm not a huge fan of the Mk1 Mégane anyway, I'll see if I can find a Mk2, as I prefer them. But the more I thought about it, and the more I thought about the Street Ka, the more I thought about another little convertible that I have liked since seeing one at the 2008 London Motorshow, the Ford Focus CC. Before too long, coupled with my new knowledge that apparently a convertible might be ok, this happened...

I must admit that it's a little bit scuffed about, and it has four racing slicks for tyres, I don't know how people don't notice that their tyres are not only bald, but bald almost all the way across. But there you go, and besides, it was cheap, so I bought it. I figured that the tyres could be quickly rectified as I knew where there was another Focus with four fairly new tyres on it, that is going to get sold on a spares or repair basis, so I picked the car up, and headed back for BelongaClint.

With Mrs Clint away for the weekend I figured that I could get the wheels swapped over before she got home, and then see if she liked it. It was kind of a win win for me, because if she didn't like it, it would be mine!

Back at base I eyed up the four good tyres on good wheels that currently called the Focus C-max home. They all looked good to me, although the wheels themselves are 15", and on the Focus CC they are 17". My feeling was that as long as they fitted over the brakes, and the outer diameter of the tyres are the same, then it should be fine.

Well, that looks close enough to me! From a personal standpoint I don't mind a taller sidewall. I remember when I upgraded the wheels on my Mustang from a 16" to an 18" the ride was noticeably harsher, and the road noise level increased. Not that I'm complaining, it looks far better, just making an observation. Anyway, back to the plot, the Focus CC, had bald tyres, and if I could get the Focus C-max tyres on, that would be what it would have!

The good news was that the Focus CC wheels fitted the Focus C-max without any drama, but better yet, the C-max wheels fit the CC too! While Mrs Clint was away I drove about like a hairdresser, y'know, just to try it out. It was a pretty dry and warm weekend, so the only time that top was up, was when it was parked! When Mrs Clint got home on Monday night she was too tired and as it was very late, she headed off to bed. Yesterday she arrived home, and I went to get the CC from work where I had it hidden. I'd not informed her of my latest purchase because even though the brief had been changed it wasn't a 4x4, and worse than that, it was a Focus, a car that she had told me that she absolutely didn't want... EVER! My plan was to arrive home with the roof down, go inside, blindfold her worshipfulness, lead her out to the car, sit her in it, remove the blindfold and let her drive it before she could see what she was actually driving. Cunning huh? 

Well, this is where it all went a little awry! I have a friend in the U.S. army, and over the years they've given me odds and ends, and one of those things they've given me over the years is probably the best duct tape in the world ever. To put this stuff into context, back at the beginning of June my work shorts split in the crotch, mainly due to wear. So as a temporary measure, I stuck a patch on them made of this duct tape my friend had given me.

Four months later that patch is still holding strong! They've been worn on site every work day, been through the wash numerous times, and it's still holding strong. Although, to be fair the patch is starting to wear thin now, and so it may need further repair, unless I can coax them on until the good weather ends! Anyway, I'm sure you know where this is heading, but in case you've still got no idea of my stupidity levels, I used said duct tape as the blindfold! I thought that it wouldn't be on there long enough to take a firm hold. So, duct tape blindfold on, I lead her to the street where I sat her in the Focus, and that was when it all went a little pear shaped! I climbed into the passenger seat and she asked if she could remove the duct tape yet? I said she could... But you know what? She couldn't! She asked me for some help, and I tried to slowly ease it off her face, but it was pretty well on there and she was making me aware of her discomfort levels. So I said that slow and steady was not winning this race, and I was just gonna whip it off like a big plaster. I said to brace herself, and I was going to rip it off on the count of three. She said OK, just get on with it, so I said, OK, Rrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiip!! It was off! Mrs Clint was howling like a Werewolf with its leg caught in a trap, and rubbing her face in discomfort! She was not impressed, after a five minute impression of Gordon Ramsey while rubbing her face, she finally composed herself, and dried her eyes. That was when the poo really hit the fan. She adjusted the mirror to look at herself to see if it had left a mark on her face. Upon seeing her face in the mirror she bellowed, WHERE THE FUNK ARE MY EYEBROWS!!! I hastily looked at the duct tape...

Here they are, I said, and offered them back to her worshipfulness! WHAT THE FUNK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO WITH THEM NOW? She bellowed back at me. I said I dunno, maybe stick them back on? Or, she could just cut some eyebrow shapes out of the duct tape and stick them on instead, just until the real ones grow back. It sticks really well I told her! This did not impress her at all. After moaning about the lack of eyebrows for a further ten minutes or so, I finally told her that it was time to rap the whinging up, and go for a drive. She told me that she was still not impressed, but off we went.

About half an hour os so later we returned to BelongaClint, and I asked her what she thought of it? She said that she liked it, but she wondered what it was, she said that she realised it was a Ford, but what one. I told her to get out, and take a look. She got out, and immediately exclaimed that she had lost her eyebrows for a Focus!! I said, Yeah, but it's a Focus that you have just said you like, so everyones happy right?

Besides, it's not like it an ugly car! As luck would have it she does like it, and is happy to drive it, but, there are some rules...

I am still allowed to:-

Pay for the Focus cc.
Tax the Focus cc.
Insure the Focus cc.
Maintain the Focus cc.

But I am certainly not allowed to:-

Sell the Focus cc.
Drive the Focus cc.
Modify the Focus cc. 

And under no circumstances am I allowed to sell the Focus cc to my not girlfriend! EVER!!

Well, I guess that seems fair, although at some point it may well find itself on larger wheels again should I stumble across a nice set, but apart from that I plan to pretty much leave it alone! I do however plan to drive it a bit, it's pretty nice to drive, and I don't think I'm done trying it out yet. But shh, don't tell Mrs Clint! Oh and should you see Mrs Clint at work, or out and about over the next few days/weeks, whatever you do, don't mention the eyebrows!!